If readers ever overhear me in real life bad-mouthing the quick, crisp, clear bringer of fast internet connectivity – oh, glorious DSL! – they are allowed to hit me, hard, on one, or the other, arm. Thank you.

(Technology update. DSL: connected. Phone: still wrecked. Cable: currently watching “Planet of the Apes,” the TV show verstion, no less; how did I live without cable?)